About 28 years ago, I was assigned a label. I was told I have MS, Multiple Sclerosis. The questions and answers began to manifest in an unusual manner, almost like an O. Henry story, a conclusion that ultimately would surprise me in the end.
To begin with, opportunities of gifting continually anchor a feeling that I have a place and intent in this world. Giving back some form of joy, pleasure, security, safety and love fulfills a sense of my ‘wellth’ balance with purpose and mission. That year, month, week, I donated my time to raise funds for the Multiple Sclerosis Society wholeheartedly unaware of any correlation between my experience and the outcome. My body was going through physical challenges contrary to my overall healthy constitution.
Conceptually, it felt as though I was going through a revolving door, coming in and out of a mirrored room that showed reflections of me, yet it did not appear like me. I lost sight of Caryl, living what appeared to be dis-easiness with my body. Many aspects of my well being no longer had the same functionality. I woke up with a barrage of neurological symptoms that later would wane and appear with little or no fore warning, and cash in my healthy reality for one that appeared as dis-ease.
Yes, the doctor stated clearly you probably have MS. The words echoed within my being, as if I was given a death sentence. I was handed an exit sign to hold up, “Look at me; I am doomed to a world of disappointments, difficulties and disturbances.” I laughed out loud at the notion that I was raising monies for the very neurological disease he had labeled me. I screeched out, “Is this a joke?” I asked myself, “Whose life is this anyway? I would never write this act in my play!”
I wore my sign proudly, as I reflected outwardly, “Look at me, I am incredible, I can handle anything.” Yet, in my silence I was riddled with fear, filled with despair and disillusionment. I kept the echoes of my screams locked in the portal of my being. I walked around as a martyr, always striving to extremes to prove that I could do more; I was selectively in denial, one of non-acceptance. Ultimately I wore my body, mind, spirit frail.
Accepting the diagnosis and prognosis, I engaged in Western Medicine and willingly took medication for MS for over 7 years, having my liver monitored periodically. Now in hindsight, I placed my body through additional unneeded trauma.
Subsequently I pledged to find other solutions, riding the merry-go-round of seeing the next, the best, the newness and most non-traditional doctors to see if I could switch my label for something that may be more appealing.
One day I woke up and decided to forgo the label, never affirm my being with a disease but rather approach any irregularity as a change and transition for the day, perhaps the next day I would feel even better than yesterday. Ironically my sign was stripped away from me. I gave the label back in recognition that it never serves any purpose.
Most fascinating, the doctors declared that I did not have MS after all. My neurological issues could have, might have, and possibly could be the exposure to toxicity. I declared, “It does not matter, I will never accept a label again”. I learned that the label of MS literally took my breath away, suffocated my existence, killed relationships and almost drove someone extremely dear away.
The authenticity is being genuine with your physicality. Be present. Admit when your body needs more care, and acknowledge the need for self-pampering and accept help from others. One that truly gives must learn to receive. Then strive for a better thought, reach for every positive element that will assist you to a place of wellness. If you need to shut down, accept the act in honoring ones place in time. Know that labeling only creates separation, a disparity to wellness. Set yourself free, release the label and focus on your pathway to wellness. I did! Hope you will too!
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Isn’t it amazing how the physical body cooperates with the labels we give ourselves? The mind is such a powerful thing. When I was a child, I spilled a drink at a family party and from that day forward was labeled “the klutz” by others in my family. I accepted the label they gave me, believing the adults must be right, and I found myself becoming more awkward in my physical movements.
The label lingered until five years later when, during a dance class, I suddenly realized there was no way a truly klutzy person could tackle such complicated dance steps with grace and ease. After that day, I never felt awkward or klutzy again. It was as if the moment I consciously realized my body was only fulfilling the label it had been assigned, I finally shed the label and my body no longer struggled.
Thanks for sharing! Your words ring truth. It is almost like a self-fulfilled prophecy, the story that is told becomes a reality simply by the suggestion. It is amazing how the unkindness of others creates barriers and becomes our limitations. I am glad you stepped into your own power and recognized your abilities, seeing your own grace.
What an amazing analogy of being labeled and how a label attaches itself to our persona and we become the label.
Thanks for the feedback. Everything in life – what we think, we become. Thoughts are so powerful. An unknown author wrote this, “Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your DESTINY.”
As usual a brillant article, very articulate and right to the point!
I too, refuse to live by a label and take each day as it comes.
You should really consider forwarding this article to Searchwarp.com
There are many who would benefit from this article!
I feel blessed to have such a wonderful caring friend who gives so much of herself without expecting anything in return!
Love ya,
Iris
Wow, Iris, what outstanding compliments – thank you, thank you, thank you! I am in appreciation; your words touch my heart.
Every challenge is simply an opportunity for growth. We both know that the most empowering criterion is how we view our world; internalize it through our perceptions and the choices we make based on our thoughts. If our mind perceives it is as an obstacle then with true certainty we will create barriers, difficulties and more trials and tribulations. Like you, I choose to breathe life in and out, rejoicing in gratitude for what I have.
My greatest gift is to touch people at the heart. This I believe is my soul purpose.
Thank you for your friendship! Love you, too! ~ Caryl
What the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves. That’s how our minds work. If we choose to accept a label then we will unconsciously make sure that we have made the correct choice, and the label is right and true.
What if we chose a different label instead? Like you did, Caryl, and it was no longer true, even the doctors said you couldn’t have had MS in the first place!
Thank-you for your inspiring story.
Daniela … Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Perception is everything and often can be the most powerful tool. If we accept a diagnosis, our perceptions touches all our senses; and therefore, manifests in alignment to what we have been told. Appreciate your input and look forward to reading your website!
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